Committing to a process makes you much less likely to give up – but it’s hard when your commitment to ANYthing waxes and wanes! So what we need to do is find a way to make the process easier. The concept I like to use is:
Put the toothpaste on the brush!
I chose this because if you actually manage to get the toothpaste on your brush, you’re almost guaranteed to brush your teeth! No matter what difficulties you are facing in your life I am prepared to bet if you get as far as getting that toothpaste onto your brush, you won’t back out and just wash it off. It’s this same ‘I can’t back out now’ feeling that we want to apply to other areas of your life.
When I teach Tai Chi (richardneville.co.uk) I always say to people that no exercise is as hard as the initial getting off the sofa to go and do it! The act of getting off a sofa, or up from a chair is a much underestimated achievement, be it to exercise, do the dishes, go to work or anything!
What you’re looking to do is create a sense of momentum that makes it harder to back out. It will never be impossible, sometimes the voices are loud, but we CAN make it harder! When you’ve already started something, even if it’s something small, it’s easier to keep going because you’ve taken that first step. So again, think of it like when you manage to get the toothpaste on the brush—once that’s done, it feels almost silly not to follow through and finish brushing your teeth. Or when you’re naked and standing in the shower, it’s easier just to turn the water on and get it over with than decide you don’t really want to. The same applies to bigger goals. By making a commitment, you lower the chances of quitting because you’ve already invested time and energy into getting started.
The beauty of a process is that it removes the decision-making barrier. Once you’ve made that initial commitment, the next steps feel more automatic. It’s like the toothpaste on the brush: after that little act of getting it there, it becomes a natural progression to actually brush your teeth. You’re less likely to throw in the towel when it’s just a matter of following through with what you’ve already started.
When you focus on the steps instead of getting overwhelmed by the goal, it becomes easier to stay on track. And just like brushing your teeth, where the hardest part is getting the toothpaste on, you start to realise that little actions, compounded over time, lead to big results.
There is another fun concept that people like to try: the 5 second rule. Nothing about dropping food on the floor and picking it up quickly, the 5 second rule means acting on something within 5 seconds of thinking about it. This came about because EVERYONE struggles to do certain things, and the studies showed that if you didn’t do something within 5 seconds of thinking of it, the chances of you actually doing that thing lowered!
When your alarm goes off in the morning, getting up within 5 seconds would ensure you actually stay on time.
Need to message that friend you’ve been meaning to? Do it NOW so you don’t forget.
So, the next time you feel tempted to abandon something before you’ve even started, remind yourself that getting started is often the hardest part—but once you do, finishing becomes much more likely.
